Christmas Season Survival

Marissa is 5 now. So of course she's at a great age for Christmas time, and this year presents new challenges from last year, and I'm sure from next year as well. This year she developed the "I have to have everything" bug. Andrew came up with a fun solution to this. Whenever she sees something in the store that she wants us to buy, he whips out his cell phone and pretends to call the North Pole, and talks to the Elves to give a message to Santa Clause that she's wants ____, whatever it is at that moment. It's really cute, and she falls for it every time. :) She stops asking us to buy her the toy or whatever, but she's expecting Santa to come through for all this stuff, and we did buy a lot of them (behind her back). But I'm sure she won't remember ALL of the things... WILL SHE??

We did a bit more Christmas shopping this morning. WARNING: It's getting to be that time of year to get out the football gear and put it on before you hit the stores. You need protection out there!

Marissa quote: "Do black squirrels swing in the trees by their nuts?"

Yikes! LOL. We were watching squirrels and talking about them gathering nuts for the winter... That was too funny. ;)

The 8 Days of Christmas.

We went out to do a little Christmas shopping today. Somehow it managed to take most of the afternoon, but that was okay. We weren't really in a hurry or anything so we took our time. But boy, were we in the minority. People were running around like crazy. I don't get it. There's a WHOLE WEEK left till Christmas, what's the rush? :)

One of my favourite Christmas songs is Bob and Doug Mckenzie's "12 Days of Christmas". But they actually only do 8 days, LOL. It's not the same to just read it as it is to listen to them ad-lib their way through it, but here's the lyrics. Enjoy some good Canadian humour. :)

The 12 Days of Christmas

Bob and Doug Mckenzie

Bob: Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album, and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug: Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob: Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on. Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and, we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug: Look out the window!
Bob: Where?! Whadda ya doin'?
Doug: Snow, hosehead.
Bob: Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing, cause it's Christmas time. Hey, hoser!
Doug: What?
Bob: Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug: Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob: Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas? Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug: Uh, the 25th.
Bob: Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right? So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug: Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob: No. Get out.
Doug: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob: That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug: New Year's.
Bob: Four. And what's...
Doug: New Year's Eve.
Bob: Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug: Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four. That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob: Okay now. This is our Christmas song, in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug: There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob: Okay.
Doug: By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob: Aw, geez.
Doug: You start.
Bob: Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug: There should be more there, eh?
Bob: Where? On the... go.
Doug: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer.
Doug: In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob: Oh yeah!
Bob: Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer, what was it?
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug: Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer,
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Okay.
Doug: Okay.
Bob: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug and the BG singers: Nice gift!
Doug: Oh, six packs of two-four!
Bob & BG Singers: Five golden touques!
Doug: Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob: Three French toast,
Doug: Two turtlenecks,
Bob: And a beer,
Together: In a tree!
Bob: Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug: Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!
Bob: Uh-huh...
Doug: Go, hoser.
Bob: Oh.
Together: Eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug: Eight comic books,
All: Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers: Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks,
All: And a beer,
Doug: On my knee!
Bob: Yeah, that beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers: Twelve!
Bob: Uh, twelve.
Doug: Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
All: Five golden touques! Four pounds of backbacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer, in a tree!
(Bob sings harmony during "in a tree")
Bob: Beauty, eh?
Doug: Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob: Uh, albums.
Doug: Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob: Merry Christmas!
Doug: And good day!
Bob: Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too. Ssssshhhhh.
Bob: Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug: What?
Bob: Donuts - I told you to get me donuts! Either on the ninth day or the tenth day, or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug: Okay, the song's over.
Bob: But I want...
Doug: Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob: Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug: So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob: You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop, where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then it'd be thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug: Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob: Take off!
Doug: Boy. That song was a beauty. It... it moved me.
Bob: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug: Wha-?
(Music fades.)

Step Into the Boat!!

After writing my last blog entry I emailed Elaine and she's been helping me out. She is just the coolest person ever. She reminded me of some things from class and it's all making soooo much sense now. I'm human (yay) and have been clinging to my comfort zones. :) But if I want to accomplish my goals and move towards my dreams I have to step out of my comfort zones and take some risks. I'm feeling somewhat better as I'm currently working on three steps towards my goals and hope to have them done by tomorrow. Yay for me. I'm looking forward to how I'm going to feel when they're done. One thing that I've realized is that as soon as emotions start surfacing, I stop dead in my tracks and retreat back to my comfort zones. So from now on I'm going to embrace my emotions and let myself have them, but still move forward and step into the "boat" (where my dreams are), however wobbly it may be. It will be a new experience for me to embrace my emotions. I tend to bottle them up and be afraid of them a lot, because I'm a very emotional person and they're very strong emotions most of the time. But it's a big part of me, so I think it will be a good thing to just let them out when they surface, and embrace them. When I think about it, it's like I'm just embracing ME, because they're such a big part of me. Wow, how cool is that?

Marissa quote of the week: "I don't NEED to go to school today, I'm smart enough already!!"

Living on Live Food

Well I've been back from my course for over a week now. It was great to spend 5 days with Alissa Cohen and learn so much from her about the raw food lifestyle. And the course wasn't just about the food, it was about so much more. The facilitator Elaine was sooo insightful and helped us realize amazing things about ourselves. A friend of mine asked me when I got back how I was feeling, and how I've changed... I didn't know how to answer that at the time. I wasn't sure how I was feeling or how to put it into words. It really was a life-changing experience. After thinking about it for the past week, there are a few things that I do know. I learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life. I've gained a lot of self-confidence, and realized how much value I have to offer. I believe in myself and feel better equipped to manifest what I want in my life. It's strange but I feel a little down at the same time. Because I've realized how much time I've spent up until now doing nothing (or next to nothing) to achieve my goals or realize my visions. I know there's no point in dwelling in the past, but it's really been pulling at me. All of the soul-searching we did during the course made me realize that I've been distancing myself from people, and neglecting things that are important to me. That's really been bothering me. I know that the only thing I can do is change things now, and for the future... But for some reason it's like I'm hesitating. I don't know if I'm just afraid of change, or if I still don't think I deserve what I want out of life, or what the problem is. Is it possible that I'm actually afraid to be happy and successful?? Is there a Doctor in the house??? Anyway, that's me in a nutshell, as crazy as it is.

Airline Insanity

I've finally arrived at my hotel in Portsmouth, NH, my destination hotel for my "Living on Live Foods" course. It was quite the ordeal to get here, let me tell you. My "non-stop" flight from Syracuse, NY to Boston, MA (which is about an hour from Kittery, ME the location of my course) which was supposed to take all of 1 hour and 22 minutes turned into over 4 hours of plane-hopping and wondering if I was going to make it here today at all. I arrived in Syracuse airport several hours before my flight, and my flight arrived on time, but when it came time for the flight to leave at 4:50 pm, the problems started. They couldn't get the airplane door closed, LOL. My seat was right up front where they were having problems, and when you hear the airline staff that's working on the plane say things like "Uh-oh!" and "the piece fell off" (!!!!), you know you're in trouble, LOL. They told us to exit the plane (I didn't complain, seeing as there were pieces falling off of it) and that they were calling maintenance and would update us on what's going on. Back into the airport we went. I didn't have a good feeling about them fixing that plane any time soon (and the flight did get cancelled shortly thereafter) so I transferred to another flight, with a stop-over in NYC, with a flight from NYC to Boston not leaving until 9:00 pm and arriving in Boston at 10:00 pm! I boarded the new plane in Syracuse just in time. Plane #2 pulls out, gets onto the runway and stops. The pilot advises us we're delayed and not cleared for take-off due to "traffic" and the plane sits on the runway for 45 minutes before we get going. This is 7:00 pm now and I'm supposed to be in Boston already, and I'm not even at my stop-over location yet. Then the pilot announces that there is a 8:00 pm and a 9:00 pm connection to Boston. I don't know why the airport attendant put me on the 9:00 if there was an 8:00 but I decide as soon as we get to NYC I'm going to see if I can get on the 8:00 because my roommate for the week was getting into Boston at 8:00 and she thinks I'm already there because my flight was supposed to arrive in Boston at 6:12 pm. Flight #2 pulls into LaGuardia airport (NYC) at 7:45 pm. I'm told the gate for the 8:00 flight is on the other end of the airport (of course, LOL). I'm out of my seat the second the seatbelt sign comes off and ready to go. Then I hear a commotion near the door. Apparently there's no gate attendant to escort us off the plane so we're not allowed off yet. After a five minute wait we're allowed to leave and it's now 7:50 pm. So, a few of us are bolting out of the plane, and literally running through the airport to get to the Gate for the 8:00 Boston flight. I felt like I was shooting a movie or something and it wasn't actually real, LOL. Then this really cool dude in like a 3 or 4 row golf cart pulls up and asks me if I'm going to Gate 20 (I was) and he tells me to hop in and he zips us past several gates and we just make the flight. What a cool job that guy has. :) After that it was pretty uneventful and I arrived in Boston on flight #3 before 9:00, LOL. I think all that was worth it just to be zipped through the airport on a golf cart, even though the ride was less than a minute. Okay, maybe not..... I'm really tired and a little delirious, actually.... Good night. :)

DETOX.. or something equally horrible...

November so far:
9 km ran
14,948 words written

Today I was 100% raw and feeling pretty good. I went out for a run that went really great, I shortened one of the walking segments and ran longer during the last running segment. My pace was better than it has been too. Then I got home. Two minutes after I sat down I felt really horrible. I felt like I was going to pass out. I think maybe I didn't eat enough today. I'm going to have to increase the amount of food I'm eating, especially on running days. I think it's partly detox too as I feel like I'm going to be sick. I ate and drank some water and I don't know what else to do but wait it out. Feel really horrible right now. But I'm so happy about my run and I think for Sunday night's run I might move from phase three to phase four. Cool. :)

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. I have a lot of stuff to get done this weekend to prepare for my trip next week...

Raw Chocolate Heaven

Today was day one of 100% raw. It went pretty well. I made a raw chili recipe for the first time and it turned out good. It was a little spicy though and Marissa wouldn't eat it. :( Andrew and I liked it but I think I'll cut the spices a little next time. I also made raw chocolate-banana shakes for lunch today and raw chocolate-walnut brownies for snacks in the evening. Yummy. The brownies tasted better than cooked brownies, but Marissa wouldn't eat them. I don't know why. Though she nibbled on the ingredients on their own, and ate a couple of dates and liked those, and walnut pieces. It's a good thing there is raw chocolate because I'd have a really hard time going raw if I had to give up chocolate for good. There would just be no way. ;) I did have a bit of a hard time with coffee cravings today. I wanted to stop for one but didn't. Yay me!

17 years of marriage

It's been a very busy week, ending with my Wedding Anniversary yesterday. I don't think Marissa really understood what an anniversary is, but yesterday she seemed happy about it, regardless. :) Andrew and I celebrated 17 years of marriage, and we had a wonderful evening together.

I forgot to update that Marissa decided the day before her birthday that it was okay to turn five. So she's now officially five years old, even in her own mind. :)

I got an email this week from one of the teachers of "Living on Live Foods", the course I'm taking in less than 2 weeks, with some prep work I need to do for the course, so I have to work on that this week, as well as read through the book, which is nearly 600 pages long, though about half of it is recipes. ;) But it's a great read. I've had the book since long before I signed up for the course, so I've read most of it in the past, but I've never read it cover to cover and since it's a prerequisite I need to read it through again. Going to be another busy week. I've been working my way back to 100% raw, and have been eating mostly raw vegan foods for the past few days, with the exception of a couple of meals, and I'm feeling good about my progress. I think I'm going to get rid of all the non-raw food in the house, so there won't be any temptations or anything. I'm lucky that Andrew wants to go raw with me (how cool is that?), and he's also been doing great this past week with eating raw, which makes it soooo much easier that he won't be eating cooked food while I'm trying to stick to raw, and that we're doing it together. It means I don't have to have anything but raw food in the house. I'm going to just jump the gun and go 100% raw tomorrow, since I'm pretty close to that anyway. If I can complete a 30-day challenge, it should get rid of any cravings for non-raw foods and I won't even want anything but raw vegan foods anymore and my body will start to crave raw foods. I look forward to when it will be just second nature to us.

Marissa quote of the week: "Mommy, if I died, would you cry?" LOL, she even has to ask? ;)

Taking on too much...

I realized today, with the month nearly half over, that I really have put too much on myself at once, and I'm not happy with the way I've prioritized things. On the 29th I'm leaving to go to Maine for a 5-day intensive course on the Raw Food Lifestyle. There are things I need to do in preparation for this course so I've realized that I need to adjust some priorities in order to accomplish it. I want to get as much out of this course as I can, and take full advantage of it, but I can only do that if I put more of myself into it, and right away. I'm investing a lot of money into this course...but it's something that's very important to me, and it's not only going to teach me everything about being a raw foodist, but it also gives me a teacher's certification to teach others if I want to go on to any type of career in raw foods. I'm really excited about it. This means less writing, but I'm still going to keep a regular pace. I'm happy that NaNoWriMo has gotten me back into the habit of writing regularly and the words are flowing again, so I know I won't have any trouble sticking to it, I just don't think the 50,000 words will have time to surface in the next 2 weeks, which is okay with me. I will finish the book, it just won't be by November 30th. I can't believe I'm leaving in just over 2 weeks! :) I have a lot to do...

Marissa Turns Five Years Old

Okay, technically she turns five on Monday, but today was her big birthday bash. And BIG it was. Marissa has a lot of friends, we invited 18 kids (not sure how that happened, LOL) and all 18 came. That's 18 four and five-year-olds, all at Chuck E. Cheese. It was quite the sight. I was really glad we had the party in the morning, because we basically had the whole place to ourselves while her party was going on. It was exhausting keeping track of all those kids but it was fun. We had to be careful not to call it a "birthday party" or Marissa would get upset. Yes, there's a story there. ;) I think it was my fault. I told her one time a few weeks ago that she was growing up too fast or something like that and she took it to heart. She's decided she doesn't want to turn five, she wants to stay four because Mommy doesn't want her to get bigger. Sigh! I tried in the past week to change her mind before the party but she wouldn't have it. I tried telling her she couldn't get birthday presents unless it was her birthday and she responded with "they're party presents", LOL. She had an answer for everything. I told her I was okay with her turning five and that I wanted her to turn five, and that being five would be fun. I don't know, I guess I'll just wait it out until she decides it's okay to be five years old. And THEN silly me forgot to tell the staff at Chuck E. Cheese about her "birthday aversion", and Chuck E. came out and started dancing and singing "Happy Birthday" to Marissa and the tears started. I told them she wanted to sing "Happy Party", LOL... She quickly recovered before the song was over, thank goodness. I have to be careful what I say from now on, she's a sensitive girl... Like her Mom. ;)

After the exhausting party I still managed to go for a run tonight... It didn't go as great as I would have liked, but it was okay. I didn't have enough energy to do the whole session. I'm going to try increasing to four times a week. Some beginner training programs say you should run three times a week and some say four, so I think I'll try four and see if it makes any difference. I'm not improving as fast as I'd like.

The novel is slow-going, I have to admit. I think the story is progressing okay, but I'm not spending enough time on it if I want to finish the 50,000 words on time. In the past week, Marissa's birthday became a priority, and situations with friends, and other life commitments. I'm still determined to catch up though...

A sea of self-doubt

November so far:
1.16 km ran
5097 words written
raw food - (don't even ask, LOL)

Reading back my post from November 1st, I can scarcely remember what it felt like to have the month start off so well. On day one I had a good running session, and also wrote over 2,000 words of my novel, which is more than the daily quota to reach the month's goal of 50,000. I'm bummed to have to report that things went a little downhill from there. Thursday and Friday I wrote zero words. Yikes. I was having kind of an emotional time of it. The only way I can explain it was that I was wallowing in a sea of self-doubt, and I lost motivation because of it. I fell into a "my novel sucks...woe is me...there's no way I can do this" attitude. But luckily I seem to have snapped out of it...mostly. I've come to realize that obviously this is only the first draft of my novel and it's supposed to have issues, LOL. There are a lot of things I like about what I've written so far so I'm going to focus on that, and make notes of what I can do to improve things on the rewrites later. Which is really the whole point of NaNoWriMo anyway. Saturday night I went to a local coffee shop and wrote about another 1800 words. I was very focused and it felt really good to have the words pouring out again. Tonight I went to a write-in with other local NaNoWriMo enthusiasts that I'd met at the Kick-Off and wrote some more, then had a nice chat with one of the other writers afterwards. THEN came home and wrote more, for a total of about 1300 today. I'm happy to at least be back in the swing of things and the novel is moving along. I hope to write at least 3000 words tomorrow to do some catching up. I'm also really itching to go out for a run tomorrow as my running kind of took a backseat this weekend as I snapped myself out of my writing slump. ;)

November is here, yikes...

November so far:
1.16 km ran
2037 words written
0 days 100% raw (hmmm.. better luck tomorrow)

Well, the first day of November was busy, as expected. But it went pretty good. I wrote about 1000 words this morning, did some preparations for Marissa's 5th birthday party which is in 10 days (sniff! she's getting so big). Then of course there was work. Tonight I went for a run and it was great, I'm finally back to Week 3 of C25K after getting over that bad cold virus. The run was really hard, and I think I'm going to feel it tomorrow, but I felt really good having done it. Then I wrote about another 1000 words afterwards, all-in-all a productive day. I even managed to squeeze in one of my favourite shows, "Criminal Minds". Love that show.

Halloween '06

Okay, so not the best photo in the world, but here's my little Tinkerbelle. Now, she will tell you that the costume is not Tinkerbelle, but is "just a fairy". She's very adamant about this. I'm not sure what it is she has against Tinkerbelle, but I went with it anyway, LOL. ;)
Although now that I think about it she did have a good reason. This "Tinkerbelle" costume came with a wand, and Marissa pointed out to me that "Tinkerbelle doesn't have a wand, Mommy". Hmmmm... good point! Amazing how observant even a 4-year-old can be, isn't it? Andrew carved the pumpkins, pretty good, eh?

NaNoWriMo Kick-Off

Last night I went to a kick-off party here in town and met several other local men and women that are going to tackle NaNoWriMo this year. I really enjoyed it. It was great to touch base with some other people that are on the same page (pun intended) and are going through some of the same anxieties and challenges in tackling the same goal of writing a 50,000 page novel in 30 days. :)

I'm getting kind of nervous about November, which is like one day away! I'm actually going on a trip at the end of November and leaving on the 29th. That means to be safe I actually have to finish 50,000 words by November 28th. So instead of 1667 words per day for 30 days I have to write 1850 words per day for 28 days. Hmmm...

If that's not crazy enough, I'm thinking about also tackling a 30 day raw food challenge starting November 1st, in connection with my favourite raw food website, www.rawfoodtalk.com. In addition to never finishing any novels that I've begun to write, I've never completed a 30 day raw challenge either. I figure if I'm going to make November a productive month, I might as well go all the way! :) The last time I went raw I lasted about 12 days. That was in June of this year. It's the longest I've ever gone eating 100% raw foods. I had just started getting over the beginning of detox and feeling really great. So I'm not sure why when I'm starting to feel the wonderful effects of raw food is when I cave and give in to horrible cooked food cravings. It's like I'm afraid of success or something. If I decide to do the 30 day challenge I will start a series of blog entries to explain what the raw food lifestyle is, what I'm doing, and why... ;)

It's going to be very challenging (to say the least) to work towards these two major goals, NaNoWriMo and a 30 day raw food challenge, and also keep up running, this blog, and whole host of other life responsibilities that can't be totally ignored... I have one more day to get my life in order for all of this, and it's Halloween and I have a 4-year-old to dress up as Tinkerbell and take trick-or-treating. Or let the hubby do it and give out candy to probably over 100 local kids. Either way, it's going to be busy...

Itty-bitty pieces of chocolate

Anyone that knows me well knows that I'm a chocoholic. Or should know. Or does know NOW. ;) It can be a challenge to be a chocoholic when you're trying to lose weight, or trying to eat healthier, because conventional chocolate comes with a lot of other things like fat and sugar and other additives. I would really like to know who it is that invented these bags of what they're calling "fun-size" chocolate. I'm sure you know the ones I'm talking about. They're individually wrapped much-smaller versions of regular-sized chocolate bars and stuff. The concept is that if you buy smaller portions you're going to consume less...apparently. Who's hair-brained idea was this? What's "FUN" about an itty-bitty piece of chocolate?? Seriously. It's like taking a "Pot of Gold" chocolate out of the box, cutting it in half and then eating that, and being done with it. I don't know anybody who can just eat one, so really what is the point? Personally I think it was some demented fool who gets their kicks out of tormenting people. Knowing that any chocoholic could not be satisfied with just one of the itty-bitty "FUN-SIZED" pieces, and that they're really going to eat more than one, feel guilty about it afterwards, get depressed, and sink into a corner of empty itty-bitty individual wrappers and cry into the empty bag... Ummmmm... Okay, maybe I'm being a BIT overly dramatic... But only a little. ;) I really would like to find this demented person, who I have to assume is one of those thin people that can eat whatever they want and must have some sort of hollow leg or something, and give him a piece of my mind. Anyone willing to hold him down for me?

"DIET RAGE"

I’m on a lot of e-mailing lists. I get countless newsletters from who knows where. Most of them I don’t even read. Some of them I vaguely remember signing up for but don’t remember why, and most of the ones I get, I probably did sign up for once-upon-a-time. A lot of them are health-related. Some of them are webmaster-related. Some of them are spam. Once in a while I decide to unsubscribe from a few, but more just seem to creep up from the woodwork. Anyway, one of them actually managed to catch my eye yesterday. The subject of the email was “Do you suffer from diet rage?” I immediately answered “Yep!” in my head. A decade and a half of yo-yo dieting has created what I would call “diet rage”, and I’m beyond frustrated with it. I don’t know how many pounds I have lost and then regained in the past 15 or so years. A lot of that is because I’m an emotional eater and that problem never seems to get solved in any “diets”. I was slim before I got married. But losing a baby in 1989, 3 weeks before I got married is basically where the trouble started, and a cycle began of emotional eating and subsequently the trial and error of many, many different diets and weight loss methods. You name it and I have probably tried it at one time or another. But gradually over time, the older I got, and the more research I did on nutrition and health, the more healthy my attempts became, thankfully.

My cold that I’ve had for over a week now, and the congestion that won’t seem to go away is a stark reminder that I believe I could be healthier if I put my mind to it. I think I take pretty good care of myself, but I know in my heart of hearts that I’m not doing everything that I can. I know I’m not practicing everything that I know about health and nutrition, and what I believe is the best food to put into my body. So, the positive side of being sick is that it’s given me a bit of a kick-in-the-butt, and re-motivated me to be better to myself and believe that I’m worth it. Running has also helped me to feel better about myself, physically and mentally. I think I’m on my way but not where I want to be… YET. :)

Snow... and summer memories...

Thursday evening we had our first snowfall of the season. It wasn't a lot, but it took me by surprise when I went outside and saw snow mixed with rain coming down. My daughter was excited, and promptly went back inside to find mittens and everything. :) None of it stayed on the ground, but in the morning there was snow stuck to the top of the car. Many people are grumpy over the fact that winter is coming, but I actually like winter, and the snow that comes with it. It's pretty, it makes the trees look beautiful, and there's lots of fun things you can do in it, like snowball fights, tobboganing, making snowmen (or snowpeople, whatever, don't email me for politically incorrectness please, LOL), and down-hill skiing. Not to mention catching snowflakes on your tongue and snow angels!! Plus, when it snows, it's not as cold outside, because it has to be somewhere around zero (give or take a few degrees) to snow. Anyway, it was obviously a stark reminder that summer is a distant memory. Here's a photo of Marissa during one of our many picnics that we went on over the summer. She's chasing bubbles that were coming out of a bubble machine. I love this picture.

My cold is hanging on for dear life. I'm still congested and very exhausted. Along with that comes increasing frustration that I'm not feeling better yet. I did go for a run tonight, and though I couldn't do week 3 of C25K (couch to 5K) because I couldn't run the 3 minute segments, I did most of week 2, but I think I did 4 repetitions instead of 6. I'm okay with that, considering how I'm feeling. I'm glad to have done the majority of it. I think I'm going to go to the Running Room downtown on Wednesday night and join in on their free running club, and run with some other humans. ;) I think that might be fun.

"You're hurting my life!"

I think I'm getting addicted to the NaNoWriMo website. The forums are great. I learned a little tip to help me turn off my internal editor while I'm writing. One of the posts had a great suggestion to turn off your monitor while you're writing. If you can't see what you're typing, you can't backspace to change anything. You have to just keep moving forward. I'm definitely going to try this. I can't turn the monitor off with the laptop, but if I don't find a way to blank the screen, I will just make the text in Microsoft Word white, so I can't see it and change it back later. Another option would be to just cover the screen with something. Lots of writers have tried this method of turning off their monitors and swear by it. I'm glad to have found at least one solution that I think will really help.

Another great thing is that I have 7 buddies so far on the site. These are writing buddies that I'm going to be sharing encouragement and motivation with. That's 7 kicks-in-the-butt if my word count doesn't climb fast enough come November 1st. OUCH! If that's not motivation I don't know what is...

My 4-year-old daughter Marissa has a new phrase. When you tell her "No" for something, she says "You're hurting my life!!". She's so dramatic... LOL. I have no idea how she came up with it, but seriously, I had no idea that telling her she's played enough with her Nintendo DS for one day would scar her for life! Yikes... ;)

My cold has moved to my chest and now it's congested along with my head. I was coughing most of the night. I really need to get some sleep... zzzzzzzzz...

A Canadian Thanksgiving

Well, somehow managed to make it through Thanksgiving, cold virus and all. My 4-yr-old daughter decided that her dinner roll made a better plate than her plate itself, and put turkey, stuffing, veggies, everything in the roll and made one huge sandwich. Of course she realized after that she couldn't fit it into her mouth, LOL. I should have taken a pic. Hubby took care of the turkey dinner and I was thankful for that, since I was not feeling well at all. I had to laugh though, when dinner was over and he was getting ready to put the leftovers in the fridge, he takes a huge turkey breast, bones and all, finds the biggest tupperware he can find, and plops it in. Of course it still didn't fit. So I told him while trying not to laugh that he's gotta take the meat off the bones first, LOL. He will probably murder me for writing this, if he reads it. So if this is my last blog entry, I apologize to all the non-existant people I imagine are actually reading this. ;) Anyway, dinner turned out pretty good and I was impressed. I hope he realizes though that all the previous years he's pretended he doesn't know how to cook are out the window and now he's going to have to do it more often, haha.

I didn't go for a run last night, and I'm still feeling nasty today. I don't know if I'll make it out tonight either. So frustrating!!

I've been thinking about my ideas for the novel I'm going to write for NaNoWriMo. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about please see my previous blog entry from yesterday ;) ). My NaNo book has started to shape a little. I have some good ideas, but I have no idea how I'm going to flush them out. Hopefully it will work itself out when I start writing it. I was starting to get really anxious about not being able to find the time to write as much as I'm going to need to. But someone on the NaNoWriMo site pointed out that 50,000 words isn't that harrowing if you break it down. You have 30 days, so that's 1667 words a day. If you break that down into an hour, that's 27 words a minute for one hour. So if you can write 27 words in a minute while writing your story, you can meet the goal with just an hour a day. My problem, as well as many other writers, is that I think too much while I'm writing and edit as I go along. So it takes me a lot longer to write because I make changes while I'm writing. One of the goals with NaNoWriMo is that you're supposed to just write, no editing, no fixing spelling mistakes or typos as you go along, no changing your wording or dialogue, nothing. Just keep writing and let your creativity flow. Write without stopping, just create, and give yourself permission to make mistakes. And worry about editing after the month is over, or your book is finished. I hope that I can change my habits enough to be able to do this. It'll be hard to turn my internal editor off while I'm writing, but I'm going to try because I really think it will help me be a better writer.

I think I've finally lost it...

I came to the decision to start this blog because my life is getting so crazy I'm afraid that if I don't document it somewhere it will all end up a blur and there will be no way I'll remember any of it, LOL. I have a husband, a 4-year-old daughter who will be 5 soon (sniff! sniff!), a dog, a cat and 2 goldfish who have lived surprisingly long and I can't believe they're still alive. I have a part-time job, I run a website, I'm trying to write a novel, and I've taken up running. Those are just some of the major things, anyway. ;)

I took up running at the end of August. I'm working through a popular training program I found online that gradually works you up to running 5K without stopping. The program is called "Couch to 5K" and is found on coolrunning.com here: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml. I've been kind of slow with it but I'm gradually improving. I'm on week three right now, thinking about moving to week four. the runnin started out as a way to help me lose some weight, but it's become much more thn that. I really love it. I think I'm getting addicted to it. I just feel so great when I'm running, like nothing else in the world matters. It's great stress relief, it's something I do just for myself, it's ME time, and it feels awesome and very liberating. my first goal is to run a 5K. Then move up from that.

I've been battling a cold since Saturday. There have been 4 or 5 people sick at work, one after the other for the past couple of weeks, so I blame it on them that I woke up Saturday with a sore throat. ;) Of course, my turn comes on the long weekend (Thanksgiving here in Canada). I always get sick at the worst possible times. And always when I have a million things to do. Anyway, yesterday I felt a bit worse, and today I'm all stuffed up. We are still going to end up with turkey dinner on the table somehow today, but I haven't worked that out yet. I think I'll supervise my husband while he does it... Sounds like a plan to me... ;) If anyone has any ideas on how to kick this cold in the butt, please let me know. I have a million things I need to be doing and no energy to do them. I actually went running last night even though I'm not feeling well at all. It was going to be just a walk, since I actually should be resting. But ended up running a few segments. Stupid, eh?

Last night, while I was feeling crappy and vegetating while surfing the 'net, I signed up for NaNoWriMo, which stands for "National Novel Writing Month". It's a program where you write a novel from scratch in 30 days, during the month of November. You have to write 50,000 words to qualify as winning and succeeding in the challenge. I think this is the end for me, I think I've finally lost it. I have no idea how I'm going to accomplish this, but I've been working on writing different novels off and on for years now, and I really want to succeed at finishing a novel. I never finish anything I start. Gotta stop the cycle... I have a couple of weeks before it starts to get myself prepped for it. Hmmmmm...

Well, I think that's enough about me for the moment. If you read this far, thanks... ;) Please send me a message so I know I'm not typing all of this into some cyber black hole and someone is actually reading it. That would give me the motivation to continue typing this nonsense. Otherwise, it will be too easy to procrastinate, which I'm sure you know by now I'm extremely good at...

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Canadians... To all you Americans, Happy Columbus Day, if you celebrate it...